We went from 2 down comforters and a blanket to, overnight, only a light sheet. Our limbs are now posed in odd angles when attempting to sleep – arms strewn in mock crucifixion; we dangle our legs to the sides of the bed, freeing them from the stuffy under-sheet world of dampness. The mere thought of touching flesh to flesh (including our own) causes instant perspiration.
The mornings have been hazy; it’s 80° by 8am, the clouds pressing the heat to the surface of the Earth. We stare up at the grey sky, hoping/praying/wishing for some form of precipitation to cool the air. Not necessarily the biting coldness of 2 weeks past, but rain nonetheless.
My brain is currently a mere index of lists, groups according to 
importance. All, of course, have to do with the wedding, which is now less than 2 months away. With a limited budget, I am racking my brain for clever ideas that refuse to appear regarding centerpieces and the like. My eyes are bored with everything at The Knot and wedding sites in general. Looking at magical-perfect brides skipping jauntily down a wood-lined path (alternatively, insert grassy meadow, beach, or kitten-filled sandbox), their chosen mates clutched at the wrist, happy to be pulled/lead this direction.
I’m trying hard to keep some sort of composure, and not slip into bridezilla mode every time something doesn’t go quite right or the guest list changes (pregnant, at this point, with additions - the invites have been sent, though). However, my temper is waiting to flare at any moment, as if I’m on permanent PMS patrol. This, of course, is usually taken out on the one person that isn’t able to relieve himself of my presence: Ben.
I console myself with reminders of everything that is done, breathing relief knowing that at least my dress, shoes, and sash are safely being crushed in the closet. Too often I close my eyes and imagine it’s all over and we’re already on holiday in Scotland.
Sometimes I think that I may actually be able to write well, if only I could actually form my thoughts into proper words and coherent phrases. However, this rare occurrence only seems to happen after midnight, in bed.
Mr. Mailman brought my invitation today! Aww you guys are so cute!! I found myself staring hopefully at the mailbox hoping my dress was somehow crammed inside and I just didn't see it! :(
But! I got to flop around in my new sparkly bridemaid-sy shoes the other day which made me quite happy. :)
I *so* wish that I could be doing more to take some load off your shoulders. Shoot me an email if there's anything even remotely helpful that I can do!
Posted by: LeeAnn at June 23, 2005 4:14 PM