I have finally come to realize that I am an exceptionally conflicted person, and it makes me feel like an internal drama queen. I am second-guessing a lot of things in my life right now, which is scaring the hell out of me. I think I very well may be feeling this way due to depression (wonky hormones and all), but I also think that this may be the thing causing the depression - either way, I don?t really feel depressed, just confused, so who knows. I?m hoping and praying that this is just a phase that will pass, as it almost always does, at least for a time. However, there is also a permanent, yet quiet, thought at the back of my brain that whatever I may be doing may be the wrong thing. I know I have to make a decision on these things that are bothering me, because no one is going to tell me what to do; the only one in charge of my life is me, and I?m the only one who can do this. That thought is both enormous and confining.
On a lighter note, I returned today from a lovely jaunt with 8 of my BFFs to Cascade. The Queen made her family's cabin available to us, for which I am ever grateful. The weekend was incredibly fun and relaxing all at the same time. Much alcohol was imbibed and many hijinks ensued. Below are a few pics from this morning. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the ol' digicam until after the Redhead and Amychan had hot-flashed, so they aren't included: hmph. Sadly, none of these shots were staged; all were spontaneous.
And just for sticking around, here's a bonus shot of me with my crazy birthday hair from last Tuesday (humidity! huzzah!):
Hormones are fun and exciting but depression does and can run in the family and there is nothing wrong with taking an antideressant once in a while. Your 25 now and can do and be what you want to be. Happy b day. luv ya bunches
Posted by: auntie su at August 23, 2004 2:32 PM