Boy, let me tell you that there’s nothing that makes one feel more fat than shopping for a bathing suit. That’s what I did on Saturday. It was 45 minutes of self-torture in a tiny little changing room with bad lighting.

I felt the necessity of purchasing fake-tanning lotion for my legs afterwards. My arms are pretty tan, as is my face and a bit of my chest. However, I only wear shorts if absolutely necessary, therefore my legs are lily-white, my skin chicken-y, and my knees dry. I thought that the tanning lotion was a good idea – less chance of cancer for the ol’ legs, and I might be able to get away with wearing the bathing suit at least once while in MI.

First lesson for using fake-tanning lotion: don’t be sloppy when putting it on. Lesson 2: heed the warnings on the bottle. After showering on Sunday, I gooped some lotion on my legs, and rubbed it up and down, just to make sure I got every spot. I didn’t really pay attention to thickness or not getting too much on my knees (like they told me to on the bottle). 5 hours later, wearing shorts, I had 3 spots around the kneecaps that looked like I had v. v. funky birthmarks. So, I’m waiting for my botched job to fade so I can do it all over again – this time, a little more carefully.

I have a tendency to kill off the invertebrates in my fish tank. My tank is small – only 5 gallons – and I only have 4 fish left. I spoke with a guy at PetCo, and found out that most likely, the snails are indeed not dying because I have never named then, but they are dying because there’s not enough food for them. This came a surprise to me, of course. So, I didn’t get a snail while I was there, but little fizzy pellets to kill off the algae.

In my search for an iPod mini (a 3-month-long search), I got increasingly annoyed with the salespeople at 4 different stores trying to sell me the normal iPod, as the iPod minis are nowhere to be found. “It holds more music!” they all said. “Duh,” retorted I, “but it doesn’t come in pink!” If anyone wants to sell me a new pink iPod mini, I will purchase for top-dollar (ie. not $50 more than retail, as eBay would have you believe they're worth, but actual MSRP).

Happy: I did, however, get a new pair of Chacos. Oh. So. Very. Cute.

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So, I’m driving down the road. What I’m doing while driving is something I do quite often, as driving generally bores me to the point of not paying attention to what I’m doing, which I’ve heard can be dangerous. I’m amusing myself by singing along to music. But not just singing along. I pretend that I’m actually doing a duet with the person that’s singing from the CD – the person who got paid to sing this song.

Sometimes I pretend that it was me who got paid to sing that song, and I marvel at the excellent job I did. I think about all the great times I had with the band, and laugh out loud that that one thing that was so funny that happened while we were on tour, and how we laughed about it for days afterwards.

Sometimes I pretend that I’m actually performing with this singer; that we’re on stage at a small club in a hip city. The singer recognized me in the crowd and invited me up like I was a superstar. The singer was so happy to have me there – he or she was humbled by me and was amazed that I knew all the words to the song.

Sometimes I’m just singing karaoke in a nifty Japanese karaoke bar, a la Lost in Translation. This is mostly when I’m singing along to my anime themes. I know them all by heart.

I know I probably look like a total idiot, singing like I mean it in my car, but I don’t care. It’s all because I’m a superstar. At least inside my head…

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Ye olde head cold has moved onto greener pastures, and I have been left healthy and alive. Isn?t it wonderful? Indeed.

The B is leaving on Friday for a 6-week stint in Israel, and while I?m super jealous and slightly worried, I?m mostly feeling the awfully greedy feeling of abandonment. I?ve grown used to the frequent spring and summer trips he takes, and while almost 100% of them are for work, this one is for fun and learning. I wish I was going with him, but I do have my trip to Michigan coming up in less than 2 weeks, which I am really really looking forward to. It marks the beginning of my holiday season, the beginning of adventure!

Since the B is leaving on Friday, and his birthday is one week from today, we had a mini-party for him on Saturday. Much to his non-surprise, he got a pro-grade digital camera from his mom. And let me tell you kids, this camera rocks the planet that rocks the National Geographic photography dept. So we took some time out yesterday to have fun with pictures, and here are some fruits of the labors. The pics are of me, taken by the B. When I have time to shrink the others down (from 3065 X something 6.3 megapixel monstrosity), then I'll post those as well. It was a lovely day.

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Who me? The person that used up the entire box of tissues? Yeah, okay, I admit it. But you can't blame me, really. It's either that or something worse.

Idaho is my scapegoat of choice. Dig how easy it is:

I think I either have a headcold or allergies - I really don't know which. Either way, it's the fault of the place in which I reside. I've been spending hours in bed at night sniffling and sneezing and getting snotty (both ways). I never had any kind of allergy until I moved to Idaho.

I want to go back to school. There are plenty of those out there that would love to have a cupcake-frosting position, but not I. I would get bored too quickly with that. I don't really know what I want to be yet when I grow up - is that sad? I don't have a college degree, let alone any transferable credits. Of course, I don't want to go to a college in Idaho.

The B and I have been engaged for almost 3 years. Why the wait to do the deed? Money. We don't have any money, and while I know that it's easy enough to get married pretty much sans money, we don't want to get married in Idaho. Nor Nevada.

I'm letting this place get to me, obviously. It just seems like every time the hour of leaving gets closer, it is delayed by 6 months or a year. I really really really want to get the heckidy heck out of here, but I'm allowing my excuses to prevent me from doing what I want to do. I just really don't know how to get around this bump in the road, and it's driving me crazy.

PS. My toilet has been leaking for the past 2 weeks, and not only did I find out where the leak was coming from last night, but I fixed it! I so rock the party that rocks the plumbing party. And then I showed that toilet a thing or two...

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After spending over $200 on a mere 3 pairs of pants and 2 shirts the other night, I had a bit of buyer’s remorse. Not because I didn’t like the things I had gotten, but because I spent money that I really didn’t want, nor need, really, to spend (i.e. from the ol’ savings account). However, to counter that notion, I also felt great because I now fit into a size smaller than I can remember wearing in the past 10 years. Seriously. And, for the first time in forever, I was actually treated v. v. well at Banana Republic; not like I was previously treated like a pariah, but the girl there was really super nice and accommodating. It may have something to do with my “Prada” purse.

So, I’ve been on this South Beach diet deal for a week and a ¾ now, and I’m actually quite amazed at how easy it is to deal with. I’ve released about 10 lbs. from my body, and I’m not going hungry or anything. I’m eating a lot of veggies and a lot of cheese, mostly. Meat, of course, I eat here and there. I’m thinking I’m going to stay on the first phase of the diet for another week (my 2-week mark is on Monday), just to see if the fast weight loss keeps up. After that, if you don’t know anything about the diet, I will start reintroducing carbs into my regular eating. It’s quite interesting to see my cravings go away. Well, they’re not completely away. I still look at the food and cookies in the vending machine and think, “mmmmm… cookie,” but now I’m just not paying attention to the vending machine after that, even if I have cash on me. I was also able to refuse KrispyKremes and cinnamon roll. The KrispyKremes came on the 2nd day of the diet, and that was a bit hard to deal with, but the cinnamon rolls yesterday were like buttah; it was as if they didn’t even register when I saw them.

One other thing is that I’m getting really sick of are the stupid comment adverts. I check the comments on all of the blogs here once a day to get rid of the adverts from bots that search for comments to spam. Then I have to go about banning the ips where the bots are coming from, etc. So, to fix this issue, I’ll be putting in a security screen soon, so when you go to comment, you will need to enter a numeric code that will show up in an image before the comment will post. Savvy? Dig.

Also coming soon will be a rebuild of this blog. I was never quite happy with the current theme, so methinks I will be doing some changes on g33kd@y (Sunday), when Amychan comes for her g33k lessons. Fun!

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Okay, so as soon as I wrote what I wrote below, I came up with something a lot more thorough and having to do with things that are in my face all the time. So, case in point, nostalgia. I understand that there is this huge surge of merch coming through the stores that is marketed to people of my age group: the 20-somethings. This is not new. Even more so, the merchandise isn’t really “new,” either, it’s leftover from the ‘80s.

I saw a Skip-It at (horror of horrors!!) Wal-Mart the other night, and thought of how I wanted one really really badly when I was 10, and when I finally got it, I realized that it wasn’t really as cool as I thought it was, and it hung in my closet until my house burned down. Well, my house really didn’t burn down, but I don’t know what eventually became of the Skip-It.

There’s plenty of crap on the market that’s just plain shit. Some people wax mournfully at their lost childhoods, and feel the need to overestimate the coolness of everything back then. Take teevee: I, bowing to the masses, was watching some olden-day teevee that I was so fortunate to have downloaded off of ye olde interweb. So, I’m sitting, right? And watching “Greatest American Hero,” a show I remember liking when I was young, and it was lame. Lame. Really badly horribly grinding my teeth at the horror of it all lame. Like not even haha this is lame, but also cool because it’s nostalgic, and nostalgia and vintage campy shit is cool, but just plain stupid.

I began thinking about my youth and all the things that I loved that I could love again, with the magic of modern technology, and, well… money. I realized it was all lame. It sucked. You remember “Saturday morning cartoons” like The Smurfs and Voltron and He-Man? They all sucked, badly. I couldn’t force myself to watch more than 5 minutes of each, so badly was my brain rejecting all information my eyes and ears were serving it.

We need to take a stand against cheap merchandising and forced nostalgia! It’s not as good as it used to be, folks, but we need to understand that nothing is going to bring back the “good old days” of 9 year old bliss. I may sound extremely pessimistic, but the fact remains that it’s necessary to move on with our lives and let the past go. It’s great to have memories of fun times and whatnot, but we don’t need to materialize it all – if anything, it dishonors the memories.

Of course, I’m a total hypocrite.

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I know and understand that I've been quite silent as of late. This is mostly because I've been busy with the old excuses. I have a few really exciting things going on in my life right now that I don't necessarily want to put on here, mostly because I don't think that anyone would be as excited as I about these things.

My life is relatively boring. Any small change keeps me sadly on my toes. So, here's what I've been up to, in short form:

The B and I have been playing tennis (Hi, I've turned Yuppie) after work and on weekends.
I purchased my first pair of shorts (!) in over 6 years and wore them in public (does not include pyjamas).
I started the South Beach diet and have been actually sticking to it, at least so far.
I've been feeling pretty good about myself.
And, counting the days until:

1. I receive my passport
2. I leave for MI
3. The boy leaves for the long Israel stay

And that's really about it. It's not like I get to ride the nonexistent Boise subway filled with drunkards, however fun that may be. July will be much more exciting, I'm sure. So, I'll blog whenever for this month, just to take a bit of a break. Have fun, kids.

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